From the album Proper Pronouns

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Lyrics

I Married a Gay Girl

I married a gay girl.
Do ya wanna know why?
My best friend took me to a women’s bar, and I hear all this commotion. And I
see this girl, so pretty. And she
looked at me and my
heart fell down to my vagina.
Oh yeah.

She’s a hottie.
She’s a cutie.
Bet she’s wond’ring what I’m doing here tonight.
She’s so hot!
She’s so cute!
I wonder what she’s thinkin’ ‘bout me tonight.

I married a gay girl.
Do ya wanna know why?
So she came up to me, asked me what I’m drinkin’,
and she ordered one for her, and another round for me.
And everybody knew her.
Everybody liked her. And she
got us a table, then asked me to dance, but I’m a bad dancer - I couldn’t take the chance. So she
asked the DJ to play somethin’ slow, and she held me nice, but not too close.

She’s so hot!
She’s so cute!
I wonder what she’s thinkin’ ‘bout me tonight.

I married a gay girl.
Do ya wanna know why?
Then her ex came in and called me a whore.
But my baby told her the only whore in the room was her.
So her ex threw her drink in my baby’s face.
It stung her eyes, but we laughed any way.
She stood up for me - not a pretty sight.
And I danced every dance with her all through the night.

She’s a hottie!
She’s a cutie!
I wonder what she’s thinkin’ ‘bout me tonight.

I married a gay girl.
Now you know why.
‘Cause I love her like crazy.
‘Cause I dig her so deeply.
‘Cause I need her so madly.
‘Cause I want her so badly.
I love her like crazy.
She treats me so nice.
Her kisses are amazing, and she loves me all night.

I married a gay girl.
Now you know why.